the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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