i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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