Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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