Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
