When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
