Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
