Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
