I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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