Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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