Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
True strength comes from lack of pants
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
