At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's the barista slut.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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