Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
