In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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