the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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