I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
