You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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