i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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