I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
