You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Michael Bay diarrhea
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
