ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
