u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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