yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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