so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
