since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
