a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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