Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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