...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is Oprah even human
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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