WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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