good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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