This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
