I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
