i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He had one of those small greek statue penises
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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