I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
