The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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