On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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