Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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