I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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