pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
