Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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