i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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