I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
