White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
