Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
