My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
