so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
