dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
