She is in my trunk
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
