Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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