i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
