Having a random hookup so left but love u
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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