Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
