The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
