i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
