if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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