im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
