Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
