Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize