i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
