If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
