i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
third nipple confirmed
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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