I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
