I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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