nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
